sfux: i feel like people who eat breakfast really have their lives together
lumoslouis: realizing im basically mr.crocker when someone mentions my fandom in public
nyozeka: i hope my first child is a dragon
lettucefetish: i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me
rabioheab: i can’t wait until the days when we’re all old and the stereotype is that old people like rap and dubstep
repress: you know those super thin white pieces of paper that go on pads with wings? my boyfriend found one on my floor and goes “why do you have rolling paper?” IM SCREAMING
hannibalthecanibal: and here we have harry potter literally standing on a pile of letters to try and catch one that is still in the air. there are clearly reasons why he doesn’t get sorted into ravenclaw
twinkyminaj: i’m respecting your privacy by not talking to you but asserting my authority as your friend by annoying you anyway
karkaties: if i lay here if i just lay here yep im just laying here not gonna stop laying here
skypestripper: hi yes i would like a glass of attention please
ozzyosborntodie: can Dora find you a sense of humor
jnaimepreciado: a moment of silence for those who haven’t seen their favourite band live
zippythewondersquirrel: mrsdetectiveryan: skeletree: thecupisaportkey: I wonder what britain’s going to do when its 20 actors die I thought British actors were like phoenixes. Instead of dying, they just burst into flames and then a new British actor rises from the ashes and takes their place. Sounds legit
yesimbeyonce: me at your funeral
kanyewesticle: mcavoyster: chekhovandowl: knockoutroundabout: dansdansrevolution: kanyewesticle: what if rain came down all at once and not in tiny raindrops I’m imagining thousands of people being pushed violently to the ground by a single sheet of water. It’s fucking hilarious. this is the most beautiful image I have ever visualized I just reverse-inhaled coke exhaled these...
internetexplorers: once our chemistry class got a sub so angry she left in the middle of the lesson to go to church and pray
hitlervevo: hitlervevo: today i learned that you can text the police if you’re dead NO NO NO I MEANT IF YOU’RE DEAF OMFG
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
alwaysbelieveinfutures: tincanlantern: The kiwi Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs I am 300% done with you guys.
boygrimlark: scout-ebubbles: docot: freddybenson: leovaldezstyle: freddybenson: A B C the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours D E
harryedward: i’m friends with everyone until they get better friends and kinda leave me
When you meet someone equally as weird as you
internetfeet: People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here” And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
craplos: ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
[AGGRESSIVELY CARES FOR YOU FROM A DISTANCE BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER]
tibets: Sext: what do you want from taco bell
z1c: being 20+ on tumblr
teatattoo: take me home? how about take me to dinner first.
warpedesto: do you ever just make a friend and think I am so glad this friend is mine